I do quite look forward to the week ahead because the common test is about to halt for the time being. Even though it is coming to an end, I still have to constantly remind myself that common test is just like another other class test. Just that is seems slightly more solemn because it is conducted in the hall. (Aka: Training us for the national examination)
The largest stumbling block will be the O levels. Sometimes I just think to myself if I'm really ready. Am I the studying sort? I really wonder. Seeing people doing so well in JC or Poly do make me feel a pinch. But say, if I'm really not the sort of people cut out for studying, studying so much now really doesn't mean anything for my future.
I know I may sound like a pessimist, but really, how many would understand? Because every student in Singapore is so competitive and is everyone is worrying about their education, their certificates. My parents and my relatives constantly remind me about how important the certificates can do for my career in future.
I have dreams of what I am aspired to be and my family is very supportive of it, but I know if I tell them now that I dislike studying and wish to stop studying now, I bet they will scream at me. But, if studying really isn't for me, I really hope my family will still support me nonetheless.
I won't tell them about how I feel about schooling now, but I will tell them only when I receive my O level results whether good or bad. I really wish to stop schooling and would really love attend the private sectors like the NAFA or LASELLE. Perhaps I'm really more into the arts school. In particular, performing arts.
Not telling them now because I do not want them to worry. At least after my O levels, I'll be more settled with the certificate, at least their hearts will be at much ease. I do not want to live a life with regret not completing secondary education. I also do not want to disappoint a handful of teachers who have faith in me. Okay, not in terms of doing absolutely well in academics, but at least a few teachers who have faith in me, believing that I can carve out something in future.
I'll try to study what I can now, but I will definitely be sure that I'll not do as well compared to my peers. What I know is, I'll do what I can and I'll see what happens next. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. I'm pretty sure of what I wish to do in my tertiary life. And most importantly, I will live a life of contentment that breeds joy with my beloved family and my lovely friends.
That's more important than anything, really.
xx
No comments:
Post a Comment